So, how do we act spiritually? I feel that every expression we externalise is an expression of our essence. This is spirituality in my opinion. Aligning this expression with un-compromised values. Expressing for the expansion of humanity and the universe, through love. And remember, love wears many faces. This is why I laugh and smile at people when I watch the way they express. I see them. Without realising, people are giving me an opportunity to see their soul. Even through the vacancy in some people’s eyes, you see an expression of their wounds. Next time, just look a little deeper; stare a little more intensely. To experience spirituality, let go of wrong and right – invite wholeness into your realm of possibility. Express from the deepest essence of you. The greats who have mastered this are often described as “mysterious” – to me, this is no mystery, it’s just so many have never been able to conceive the genius within them (genius, Latin for genuine), the creative spirit within their soul. Creator/ God/ The Universe; whichever your word is for the loving energy that connections everything, is essentially creative energy. Non-judgemental, entirely expressive, never ending, completely and unquestionably perfect in it’s subjectivity. This is who you are.
Spirituality is not sitting in a Goddess circle discussing the divine feminine. Spirituality is not discussing consciousness and eating a raw vegan diet. Spirituality is not about surrounding yourself with ‘conscious people’, and revelling in a spiritual superiority complex, creating separation between you and the rest of the population. Spirituality is not become the most well-paid motivational speaker, or selling out your Bali retreats.
Spirituality is the essence of who we are; no matter your circumstances, thought processes or even your spiritual understanding. Spirituality is available to the murders, as well as the enlightened profits that have walked this earth. Spirituality should not be paid for, nor should it be exploited or commercialised. Your spiritual body is an intangible, highly complex, personal experience. As you begin to awaken to your spiritual self, your mind may attempt to find ways to define, determine and understand this experience; but ultimately, all this will ever be is an expression of it – a way for us to clutch at straws in a haystack crying; “this straw it the only real straw!”
I’ve had a diverse range of different experience; and ultimately, I draw the same conclusions from each of them. The essence of our existence is a perfect paradox. The light and the dark must, and do, live harmoniously – although we must experience them singularly in order to understand them. Our mind need things to exist relatively – your sanity would be compromised if you were to exist in a complete state of oneness at all times; unless you were ready and prepared to let go of the mind entirely – to empty it, to detach from your idea of self (your ego).
I’ve found oneness in so many conflicting spaces. Yes, I have in fact found oneness meditating under a tree in the wilderness, and yes I’ve found oneness through retreats that have cleansed by mind, body and spirit – however, I’ve also found oneness in the darkest of places.
I’ve found solace in questioning whether or not I want to walk this earth any longer – recognising that the only real way to live, is to die. I’ve found oneness in the darkest of rooms, staring into the eyes of a lover, with emotion burning through my body like acid. I’ve found oneness alone, deep in an amphetamine-induced vortex; laughing at the meaningless of all meaning. I’ve found oneness on stage, connecting to 1000’s of people’s pain in my audience, transcending their pain through genuine connection. I found oneness through years of starvation, propelling me towards emancipation of the physical body (but not quite).
I’ve found oneness through the light, as well as the dark – because in the darkest of moments, and the lightest of moments, you’re forced to see the truth; the light and the dark don’t actually exist. They blend together to create all the shades of grey that paint this subjective reality that we exist in.