It’s hard to accept your pain. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that in order to heal – to grow – you have to break up with it. Our pain defines us so much – the scars we carry are the stories that have shaped us. Our wounds, before they are scars, need to be allowed to heal – without being constantly visited. We need to let them breathe, give them space from what was creating them. We have to recreate our circumstances in order to remove ourselves from the way things are. The healing process isn’t taught to us enough. We flinch at the idea of being in pain; especially emotional pain. We run away from ever facing our demons; we fear feeling itself. We medicate, we drink, we have continual meaningless sex or compromise our own intelligence in the company we keep – just to avoid feeling.
What if it were known that feeling it, is the only way through it? Pain is the process of recreation. Why does a baby fall over 1000 times before they learn to walk? Why does the fire need to burn the grass, for the soil to become fertile? Why does the child need to touch the stove, in order to learn it’s hot?
As I lay over the toilet bowl last week, day two of a detoxification process, I called a friend crying. I expressed that I felt like this wasn’t normal, that I wasn’t okay – she explained to me that the process of detoxification isn’t pain-free. How could it be? How could I expect it to be painless, for toxins to rid themselves from my body? Our mental and emotional growth is no different. When we purge pain from our system, we detoxify ourselves. The toxicity must come out of us; it must be expressed – and on the other side of it, is rejuvenation. Clarity.
We can’t spend our lives running away from feeling. Getting so imprisoned in the mind, that we forget we have a heart, that we lose touch of the fact we have a map inside of us, that will always point to true north – when we have a mind that loves to look west, east and south.
The brain is designed to relieve our pain. Its job is to help us find relief. Yet seeing to the symptoms of our pain, does not change the circumstances in which created it. We must allow the symptoms to communicate to us. Whilst we try and fix the symptoms of our pain, we ignore what is creating it. Move into it, allow it to wholly and fully take you over. Purge it. Turn it into art. Turn it into beauty. Transmute it so that your story can change.
In all your infinity, you are bound to understand your own beauty one day. Why not start now, and rewrite your story? Learn from your pain, instead of supressing its symptoms? Your life, your masterpiece, is a work of art. Allow your pain to become the most beautiful chapter of all.